new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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