Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
