somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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