i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize