I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
