Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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