just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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