Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I am spending my child support on dildos
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
