it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
