Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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