just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
