I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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