If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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