Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
