I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
