i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
