Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My feet surprised me
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