I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
