i already hear my dad disowning me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
