We won't sleep together?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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