dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
