While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
