I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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