We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
