..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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