bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
