next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize