I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
