I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
