I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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