Nicole vs. Life
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
