Its about making memories worth repressing
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
