Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
