never play flip cup with pint glasses
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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