The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
