your thong is hanging out like whoa
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
