it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
