They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
