You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
