just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼‍♀️
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
