I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
