You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
