whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
