when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
