I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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