3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
