do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
