think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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