I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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