Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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