Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
