he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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