I'm really into asian looking animals
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize