soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
