but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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