I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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