He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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