Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
