They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
