sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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