Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize