He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
