Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
